We all seem to think we need validation and approval from others to be happy. Yes, it is in our nature as humans to be social and need a sense of belonging to our community. We are drawn to interact with others around us, ones who share our values, morals, and beliefs. So I state that one cannot find happiness in others if they are first not at peace with themselves. We shouldn’t have to change who we are to fit in, we need to find out where we fit in. That can be hard I know, but what are we achieving if we change our personality depending on the people we are with? Are we really happy if we have to be a fake person? If we change who we are for others, we will not be happy. Our ability to love, and share life with another is a tremendous thing; however in order for it to work we must be happy within ourselves first. Though most often then not finding a way to be happy with ourselves can seem impossible in the current era. With things like social media always making us feel like we are missing out and making the wrong choices it can be hard to know what little we actually need to be happy. The part we can never seem to understand is that no one can tell us what we as individuals need to be happy; as it changes for all of us. We often think, ‘oh if only I had that thing everything would be different’. We all have things we want, places we want to go or people we think we need, but in order to truly understand if we need them we must first see if we can in fact live happily without them. I'm not saying that you should cut yourself off from the world, I am simply trying to say that maybe someone or something is not who or what you thought when you spend time away. We all need to find what makes us happy, what we truly need in our lives and that is only something we ourselves can figure out.

I always thought that if people just liked me, everything would be okay. I thought that if I had friends it would somehow help me fight these dark thoughts in my mind. “If I was just better, more people would like me” is something I would always tell myself. Throughout my life I have made many friends, or met many people, as I’ve always seemed to push them away at some point down the road. For whatever reason I never really made many lasting friends, I never really stayed connected with anyone. I always let my emotions take over, and blame my situation or the people around me for my depression and then push them away. It took a great deal of effort, I hurt and lost good friends along the way until I finally realized those thoughts are still circling in my mind. I know we all wish there was a magic medicine that would simply make all these thoughts and emotions just go away. Yet it is those thoughts, especially the negative ones, that have shaped me into the person that I am today, so why be ashamed of the past.